Funeral services are more than a way to honor a deceased loved one. They mark one step along the journey of grief. After the burial services, mourners can count on their surviving family members and close friends to provide grief support and a shoulder to lean on, but this support may lessen somewhat as time passes. In dealing with grief in your own unique way, you may find it helpful to look for less conventional ways of coping.
You’re probably familiar with the traditional five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But these widely referenced stages may not be as accurate as mourners have been led to believe. These five stages were developed by a psychiatrist as she observed the emotional reactions of dying patients—not their bereaved families. Psychologists are gradually beginning to embrace another model of grief, which categorizes mourners into three groups. They are Chronic grief, acute grief, and resilience. Within six months, resilient mourners function much as they did before the loss. Most mourners are resilient mourners. Of course, it’s perfectly acceptable to experience keen grief longer than this—resilient grief doesn’t encompass every mourner. But if you do find yourself in this latter category, give yourself permission to be okay.
If your loved one’s death was expected, you probably spent a great deal of time imagining life without him or her. You might have even planned the details, such as how long you would take off from work. But you may be surprised to learn that, during acute grieving, distraction is your friend. Sitting around and staring off into space for hours on end might not be your cup of tea. Try going through the motions of physical work, such as cleaning the house or doing yardwork. Then, consider returning to your job sooner than you thought you would. Physically and mentally demanding work can be therapeutic.
Meditation, support groups, and mental health counseling are all valid ways of coping with grief, but they might not necessarily be right for you. Instead, consider taking up the interests that your loved one had. This might mean learning how to play the sitar, joining a softball team, or brewing your own beer. Do what works for you, not what is expected of you.
At Skylawn Memorial Park, we want you to know that you’re never alone in your grief. Our funeral home in San Mateo connects bereaved families to grief support services that offer comfort and solace during this difficult time. If you need to speak with one of our compassionate funeral directors, you can call (650) 349-4411.
It’s an honor to be asked to deliver a eulogy at a decedent’s funeral services, but writing the eulogy is often challenging. It may help to remind yourself that the eulogy you deliver at the funeral ceremony doesn’t have to be comparable to a great work of literature. A thoughtful eulogy is simply one that is sincere and that comes from the heart. Watch this featured video for some quick tips to help you get started.
This video recommends talking to family and friends of the deceased. Ask them to share their most memorable moments with the deceased. Be sure to ask them for permission to share these memories at the funeral service. Then, consider your own memories of the decedent, and try to find a theme among these memories. For instance, the decedent might have been known for having a great sense of humor or for being a lifelong learner.
Skylawn Memorial Park is honored to serve bereaved families throughout our community. Call our funeral home in San Mateo at (650) 349-4411 and explore our extensive funeral planning resources online.
The men and women of America’s armed services deserve the utmost in respect and compassion, as do their families. When it’s time to think about funeral services for your loved one, you can rest assured that he or she will be given due honors. Upon your family’s request, the funeral home will coordinate the military funeral honors ceremony.
It is required by law for an eligible, deceased military servicemember to receive full military funeral honors at no charge to the family. The fallen servicemember’s honor guard must include at least two members of the armed services. One of those individuals must be a member of the same branch as the decedent. The funeral ceremony includes the folding and presenting of the American flag to the decedent’s spouse or other closest relative. A bugler will play “Taps” as required by tradition. If there are no buglers available, an electronic recording of “Taps” may be substituted.
Most deceased servicemembers would be considered eligible for full military honors. An eligible decedent may have been an active servicemember at the time of the death or an active member of the Selected Reserve. Eligibility is granted to former servicemembers who were honorably discharged, and to individuals who finished a minimum of one term of enlistment in the Selected Reserve, provided they were not dishonorably discharged. A discharge from the Selected Reserve because of a disability also confers eligibility, provided that disability was sustained or aggravated by being in the line of duty.
After the loss of a loved one, military families should not have to do any more than they must. Funeral home directors will handle the request for military funeral honors. A discharge document will be needed to verify eligibility.
Skylawn Memorial Park is honored to care for deceased servicemembers and their families. We express our gratitude to military families by taking care of all the necessary details—from veterans’ benefits applications to military honors documentation. Please call our funeral home in San Mateo at (650) 349-4411 and let us know how we can serve your family.
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